Q: This is one of the most common places where couples will argue. 7 out of 10 say it happens here at least once a month with some saying it happens weekly. Where is it?
A: The car.
While most couples recognize that fighting in the car is dangerous, it doesn’t seem to stop them from engaging in these conflicts. The neurological mismatch between driver and passenger appears to be so profound that it overrides common sense.
So, what can couples do to avoid these dangerous and unpleasant car fights? Here are some research-backed strategies:
Have a meta-conversation: Discuss your car fight patterns and triggers when you’re both calm and not driving. Share your experiences and perspectives to gain a better understanding of each other’s needs[2].
Be mindful of your roles: Remember that the driver’s primary responsibility is to ensure everyone’s safety. As a passenger, try to be supportive and avoid setting an agenda that interferes with the driver’s focus[1].
Sync up your activities: Find ways to be on the same page during the ride. Listen to music together, have a light conversation, or enjoy a comfortable silence. Ask the driver what they prefer and be willing to accommodate their needs[2].
Practice effective repair: If a car fight does occur, acknowledge it and take steps to deescalate. Apologize, take a deep breath, and suggest changing the subject or revisiting the issue when you arrive at your destination[2].
Keep your word: If you agree to discuss a topic later, follow through. This builds trust and prevents the passenger from feeling like they need to force the conversation in the car[2].
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